Wednesday, 23 December 2009

first fragments

Fire-worship.

Only twelve then.

Jack de Sousa

a while he allowed his mother to make arrangements for his

My best friend and co-expeditionary was Peter Marshall.

You will know you have one.

the driver

Jack thanked her

feed its inhabitants it was almost essential for a large city to lie near a sea

a congenial dip of my head as though I were sniffing a

waits

simple huts around the Palace walls.

around the room and land on the walls.

magnificent bronze horses from the fallen city as an adornment

had studied

fellow at the table

The chief stumbling blocks that could stymie the patient

Artist unknown Time Merthyr Issue Church, Partrishow

respect for the dead

nivel del aceite....oil level

Rincewind had a feeling that some sort of trap was

esta en la plaza Mayor

mercenaries or something, right?

nozzle on the little fountain in the centre of the courtyard; otherwise

these things to Laura, they would have seemed

he said was an obsession with order

time reversed waves from the edges of the screen; the castle

ignorant people could put a rug on a cow

running errands, or even serving regular customers.

weave into gold by the following morning

discovered that the sun, for instance, could not be reproduced, but that it must be

lives and want to give something back

lyric with Arthur Jackson

Qumran was an extreme wing of the Essene movement

kept my attention riveted upon the body

objectively?

assembly rooms

As you will, Livesay,

behind it, the first and biggest courtyard of the whole complex

with settled accommodation

for your little ones

his wet pajamas, he returned to his room and dressed

standing by an oil lamp in A Piece of Monologue

he's got a nice way with him, but he's a bit of a sheep

But as the son, the onus to visit was surely on him

orchestral suites, Woodland scenes

in 19th century

Towyn, Foryd Road

field of vision and the room turned on its side

with some competence in the English language, dealing with

There weren't even any intersections, but every few kilo

eighteen year olds who must have thought it rather a lark to visit a girls' school

because you were confused?

by snow reflects almost all sunlight falling on it back

you're being very helpful and I really appreciate this

could make it work

serious faced at the security men

white upon them

slipping loose of the steering wheel

for Cilla to cry on, after she'd dumped the beast in question

Natalie kicked it gently as if to check for signs of life.

I don't know

He suddenly seemed bashful

Butchering

did not want to quiet him

will understand

It's all right he mumbled

But as the son, the onus to visit was surely on him

hallucinating

a little larger than necessary

on his chair

She doesn't like pubs

and staring up at her with undisguised loathing for trying to stop

often serve as bedrooms as well

walks across the stage with a bottle of champagne and presents it to me

trochaic substitutions can be cumbersome

and vulgarized elements of Art Deco

Friday, 18 December 2009

A snowy conflict

We stood in small numbers in minus conditions singing advent songs and Christmas Carols. The hoar frost gnawed away at us for an hour until the biting wind and snow forced us to quit. A man enrobed in a downy moaned at us for pinching his patch it was both comical and sad that in our attempt to raise money for AIDS orphans in South Africa we were encroaching on his begging. A moral dilemma, he complained that we were not singing songs he knew just as we started singing Hark the Herald. Later he started mocking our singing by pretending to sing. We have a few more days of this. Luckily we are up to the challenge but the moral conflict grabs my sense of the absurd. There are rumours that the weather it is going to get worse.

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

Gods Particle

The BBC love this thing...I do hope when they start it up we get sucked into a black hole...I could do with a change of address, a fresh start. This is today's article from the Beeb..."

The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) could restart as early as this weekend after more than a year of repairs.

Officials have avoided giving an exact date for sending beams of protons around the 27km (17 mile) circular tunnel which houses the collider.

The LHC was first switched on in 2008, but had to be shut down when a faulty electrical connection caused one tonne of helium to leak into the tunnel.

The vast machine is located 100m below the French-Swiss border.

Operated by the European Organization for Nuclear Research (Cern), the LHC will recreate the conditions just after the Big Bang.

Two beams of protons will be fired around the tunnel. These beams will travel in opposite directions around the main "ring" at close to the speed of light.

At allotted points around the tunnel, the proton beams will cross paths, smashing into one another with enormous energy.

Scientists hope to see new particles in the debris of these collisions, revealing fundamental new insights into the nature of the cosmos.

But the first beams to circulate around the collider will be injected at a low energy of about 450 billion electron volts.

For the restart, engineers are determined to take things one step at a time, and officials are not setting hard and fast deadlines.

Once the collider is circulating two beams in opposite directions, engineers will attempt low-intensity collisions.

This will provide scientists with data they can use for calibration purposes.

After this, the beams' energy will be increased so that the first high-energy collisions can take place.

These will mark the real beginning of the LHC's research programme."

Boooooooooom!!!!!!!!......Enid Blyton would be proud of all those exclamation marks.

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

Shards of Oz

Circular Quay
Ferries
Gallery M (art sale)
Nurses walk
Crystal Galleries
Museum of Sydney
Bridge street
Edge of the trees
Sculpture
Janet Laurence
Conservatoire of Music
A White castle with battlements (a child's idea of a castle)
Botanic garden
Orchids and carnivorous plants
Sex and death
Noisy bats (flying foxes)
Trains (double decker)
Liverpool to Central
The back of the train seats swing over to change direction of seating.
Auburn
Mosque
Olympic track
Lido
Lidcombe
gamblinghangover.nsw.gov.au
lewisham
stanmore
China town
Darling Harbour
Chinese Garden
Pagoda
Pretend train
Tumbalong Park
Fountain
Ibis
Exhibition centre
Maritime museum
Wildlife World
Aqaurium
King Street Wharf
Newcastle Steam ship company
Sydney Showboat
SYDNEY MARATHON Sunday September 21 2008
WWW.Barangaroo.com
Hickson road
Sydney theatre
Dance company
Philharmonic choir
Roundabout instelation
Large Ford Car crushed by a huge boulder
(Jimmie Durham, still life with stone and car)
Walsh bay
Sculpture walk
Metcalfe Arcade
Satchi Satchi
seargent Major Row
Museum of contemporary art
Circular Quay RS
Sydney Opera House
Stanmore
Man takes his ferret for a walk
Butcher Bird whacked me on the head
Feeding minor birds mince
Mossvale
Brigadoon in Bundanoon
Mittagong
Southern Highlands
Shale Mining
Wine region
I am possessed with possessions
Don Bradman
Bradman foundation
didyabringabearalong
Ned Kelly
Featherdale
Gal Crescent
MacMillan Park
Ernie Smith Reserve
Anzac Creek
Bush regeration
Skate boarding
Lewins bridge
Georges river
Custom house
plastic floor
3d version of Sydney
Platform 2 Circular Quay amazing view of Sydney Bridge and Opera House
Museum station (looks as if it fell out of the London Underground)
Walter Berry Griffith
Frank Loyd Wright
War Memorial
John Simpson Kirkpatrick
Gallipoli
Anzac Cove
Gervais Koffi
Yanick Koffi 9 yrs old
brilliant talent
bass player and keyboard
Aussibum
wonderful people

want to go back for good
xxx

Saturday, 24 October 2009

Bonnie Greer

The audience and Bonnie Greer were the best parts of this Question Time. She showed intelligence and was a clear example of why the BNP are so intrinsically wrong, Griffin was a mess. I am sure if he became elected to the House of Commons, which could happen, he would be eaten alive by the real politicians in the house. He seemed incapable of honestly stating his party’s policies or is his party in shock since it now has to stop being a whites only and gay hating party? As the skin of the snake fell off the serpent that was the National Front and became the serpent of the BNP is the BNP being forced into a new metamorphosis? Or is it the end for the BNP? Will there be a schism? Who knows

Granny had a Humanist Funeral says News Quiz

News Quiz cracked me up with this quote; "Roasted and Ground like a Winsiet clad coffee bean at the municipal dump of the dead."

Thursday, 15 October 2009

St Alfege

Its good to be off work for even just one day. It is cold, but the sun is beating down. I wandered around Lewisham and ended up in Greenwich. The dwellings of the locals strikingly change from mundane late Victorian terraces into Georgian villas. Their shape and characteristic of classical depth seems more pleasing. Mind you I am not a great lover of Paladian architecture as it turns every building into a Greek temple. Would the Greeks in their ancient periods have dreamt that by their hard labours building so many columned structures to their gods that three millennia later the Brits would be aping their architectural styles not to keep the gods happy but to express the wealth and power of a new secular age? Of course the church aped the styles of this retro building tendency. Hence the style of St Alphage, a neo Greek temple, but thankfully not a Parthenon, it has the feeling of a more harmonious mixture of English style with a few Greek bits thrown on to give it a fashionable twist. I went inside and is often the case I fell upon a free concert. Kyoko Murai an exquisite Japanese soprano was accompanied by Taro Takeuchi a lutenist and baroque guitar player. They were performing music from the 17th century and how beautifully they performed. Purcell, who was born 350 years ago, seemed to sit perfectly within the accoustic of this lovely church. She sang excerpts from The Indian Queen, the History of Dioclesian and parts from the evening music. Her voice is pure and without vibrato which sits so perfectly for this type of music. I was moved by her rendition of I attempt from Love's sickness, which hit the correct balance between contemplative control and emotional integrity. Taro accompanied her with a Theorba which is long necked guitar like instrument, its accompaniment gave a true feeling of authenticity many lesser recitals would have used a piano. Taro played with such a wonderful intuitive accompanying weight. Some accompanists would over shadow their partner but he held the singer up with a delicacy and depth their interactions were well attuned producing a wonderful experience in music. I was so sad when they eventually finished as I could have sat in the church all afternoon experiencing their music making. Taro also performed using a baroque guitar; it is smaller than a modern guitar and has a sweeter tone. He played two pieces Matteis's air for guitar and Corbetta's Ciaconne. Taro has done a few recordings so I know what I will be spending all my ill gotten gains on. When I witness music performed so well it fills me with the eagerness to be a better performer their passion, veracity and humour inspires me. Hail bright Cecilia...

Saturday, 10 October 2009

Morphing into what?

It was lovely and sunny today but the autumn has brought a chilling breeze. Brrrrr, I wandered around Lewisham and sauntered into the Pound Shop. It has a magnetic pull and as far as any attempt I make not to go into these sub pound places their pull is stronger than my desire to stay away. Like the Innovation catalogue that falls out of the Sunday paper they are brimmed full of things that I do not want but since they are so cheap I think well it wont hurt if I have it. I end up spending £20 on twenty things I hide in the kitchen cupboard that go in the category, could be useful in the future, but they never are. Time comes when I decide to do a bit of spring cleaning. Suddenly I eventually come across the accumulation of these Pound shop purchases and like Tony Robinson in Time Team I spend far too much time wondering over these bits of sub pound detritus. Its like a Squirrel and its nuts. Talking about nuts while I was browsing the multitude of bits and pieces, a family were acting out lets shout at each other at the top of our voices. Suddenly the mother of this vocal tribe started screaming at what appeared to be her eldest son and began franticly hitting him. She stormed out of the shop. The Pound shop spell had been broken. I looked at the boy and he had gone from naughty mirth to a lost boy crying. Luckily his siblings surrounded him swearing blue murder about their mother. For once I did not buy anything. I was amazed at how many people were wandering around today and were all around the places I wanted to be. This became an annoyance.. I think the older I get I dislike crowds or rather being in crowds. I wonder why? Is it because they walk so slowly or is it because I am morphing into an old git?

Sunday, 20 September 2009

Sadness at the end

In time,
No one will remember our work
Our life will pass like the traces of a cloud
And be scattered like
Mist that is chased by the
Rays of the sun
For our time is the passing of a shadow
And our lives will run like
Sparks through the stubble. I place a delphinium, Blue, upon your grave

Derek Jarman 1993 Blue

Friday, 7 August 2009

The fourth Plinth

My dear friend Neil invited me to Trafalgar Square where we observed the participants of the 4th plinth. The fourth plinth is 150 odd years old and like an invitation to an artist has never had anything permanent upon it. It may be a singular world of exploration where an empty space is given a form of expression in some way it echoes the Turbine Hall of the Tate Modern, but the plinth seems to fail more often than not. We noticed that those taking part seemed not to take full advantage of what is given. They seem to make the wonderful space given much smaller than it is, its as if they are scared and are psychologically confined. They used it like a cliff edge a point of vantage ignoring the people sitting around. I dreamed last night, for some odd and short moment, that the plinth had a bridge crossing it. May be that's the point of the 4th plinth or any plinth that its not meant for a loud self indulgent theatrical performance. I shy away from a soldier on a horse bestriding the plinth it seems so lame and week addition to this monument.

I watched ages ago Andy Warhol films of people moving very slowly. The films at first seemed boring and and self indulgent but once you get into the rhythm of the art it became like animated sculpture. If I had the opportunity of filling that space I would have a large piece of sculpture that slowly changed in a polymorphic fashion. May be a dancing sculpture of Samuel Becket.

Saturday, 25 July 2009

Samuel Beckett and God

What did God do before the Creation? Play with the Void? Is Creation the reason for God? Without the creation is God pointless? Why did the monotheistic God create man to destroy man? It is a relentless creation more to do with eternal misery with the ON creation switch never off. Is humanity's existence just the dreadful joke and game of a remote and bored God who could do his own thing without ever having to have any connection with his creation but instead dives in occasionally as a hunter in sport and slaughters millions and then dives out again. The rainbow is a marker for Gods murderous habits. Creativity through music, art, literature and not having children seems to be the best way to put a spanner in the mechanism of God's relentless generations of mankind. God wants idiots to reproduce millions of people for zillions of years until some day the off switch is found but the off switch has not been created yet by a God who has grown bored with his own creation. Does God long for the void and to wipe out the useless boring creation that means now nothing except how tediously familiar it is? That's the Beckett question.

Wednesday, 8 July 2009

Harold and Maud and Cat Stevens

This film is a dark comedy but blooms at the end. I love the songs from the film




Soundtrack - Lyrics

An official soundtrack containing all of the Cat Stevens songs used in the movie Harold & Maude has never been released. However you can compile your own soundtrack from three Cat Stevens albums -- Tea for the Tillerman, Mona Bone Jakon and either the Box Set or the Remember Cat Stevens Import CD.

Two songs, "Don't Be Shy" and "If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out" were written specifically for the movie and were not released in any form until 1984 on Footsteps in the Dark/Greatest Hits Volume Two (which is now out of print). Both songs were later included on the Cat Stevens box set released in 2001 as well as the Remember Cat Stevens Import.

The list below is in the order that the songs appear in the film.
Harold and Maude Songs by Cat Stevens

- Don't Be Shy
- On The Road To Find Out
- I Wish, I Wish
- Miles from Nowhere
- Tea for the Tillerman
- I Think I See the Light
- Where Do the Children Play?
- If You Want to Sing Out
- Trouble


LYRICS by Cat Stevens

Dont be shy

Don't be shy just let your feelings roll on by
Don't wear fear or nobody will know you're there
Just lift your head, and let your feelings out instead
And don't be shy, just let your feeling roll on by
On by

You know love is better than a song
Love is where all of us belong
So don't be shy just let your feelings roll on by
Don't wear fear or nobody will know you're there
You're there

Don't be shy just let your feelings roll on by
Don't wear fear or nobody will know you're there
Just lift your head, and let your feelings out instead
And don't be shy, just let your feeling roll on by
On by, on by, etc.



On the Road To Find Out

Well I left my happy home to see what I could find out
I left my folk and friends with the aim to clear my mind out
Well I hit the rowdy road and many kinds I met there
Many stories told me of the way to get there

So on and on I go, the seconds tick the time out
There's so much left to know, and I'm on the road to findout

Well in the end I'll know, but on the way I wonder
Through descending snow, and through the frost and thunder

I listen to the wind come howl, telling me I have to hurry
I listen to the robin's song saying not to worry

So on and on I go, the seconds tick the time out
There's so much left to know, and I'm on the road to findout

Then I found myself alone, hopin' someone would miss me
Thinking about my home, and the last woman to kiss me, kiss me

But sometimes you have to moan when nothing seems to suit ya
But nevertheless you know you're locked towards the future

So on and on you go, the seconds tick the time out
There's so much left to know, and I'm on the road to findout

Then I found my head one day when I wasn't even trying
And here I have to say, 'cause there is no use in lying, lying

Yes the answer lies within, so why not take a look now?
Kick out the devil's sin, pick up, pick up a good book now



I wish, I wish

I wish I knew, I wish I knew
what makes me, me, and what makes you, you.
It's just another point of view, ooo.
A state of mind I'm going through, yes.
So what I see is never true, ahhh.

I wish I could tell, I wish I could tell
what makes a heaven what makes a hell.
And do I get to ring my bell, ooo.
Or land up in some dusty cell, no.
While others reach the big hotel, yeah.

I wish I had, I wish I had
the secret of good, and the secret of bad.
Why does this question drive me mad? ahhh.
'Cause I was taught when but a lad, yes,
That bad was good and good was bad, ahhh.

I wish I knew the mystery of
that thing called hate, and that thing called love.
What makes the in-between so rough? ahhh.
Why is it always push and shove? ahhh
I guess I just don't know enough, yes.




Miles from nowhere

Miles from nowhere
I guess I'll take my time
Oh yeah, to reach there

Look up at the mountain
I have to climb
Oh yeah, to reach there.

Lord my body has been a good friend
But I won't need it when I reach the end

Miles from nowhere
Guess I'll take my time
Oh yeah, to reach there

I creep through the valleys
And I grope through the woods
'cause I know when I find it my honey
It's gonna make me feel good

I love everything
So don't it make you feel sad
'cause I'll drink to you, my baby
I'll think to that, I'll think to that.

Miles from nowhere
Not a soul in sight
Oh yeah, but it's alright

I have my freedom
I can make my own rules
Oh yeah, the ones that I choose

Lord my body has been a good friend
But I won't need it when I reach the end

Miles from nowhere
I Guess I'll take my time
Oh yeah, to reach there.



Tea for Tillerman

Bring tea for the Tillerman
Steak for the sun
Wine for the women who made the rain come
Seagulls sing your hearts away
'Cause while the sinners sin, the children play

Oh Lord how they play and play
For that happy day, for that happy day




I think I see the Light

I used to trust nobody, trusting even less their words,
until I found somebody, there was no one I preferred,
my heart was made of stone, my eyes saw only misty grey,
Until you came into my life girl, I saw everyone that way.
Until I found the one I needed at my side,
I think I would have been a sad man all my life.

I think I see the light coming to me,
coming through me giving me a second sight.
So shine, shine, shine,
shine, shine, shine,
shine, shine, shine.

I used to walk alone, every step seemed the same.
This world was not my home, so there was nothing much to gain.
Look up and see the clouds, look down and see the cold floor.
Until you came into my life girl, I saw nothing, nothing more.
Until I found the one I needed at my side,
I think I would have been a sad man all my life.

I think I see the light coming to me,
coming through me giving me a second sight.
So shine, shine, shine,
shine, shine, shine,
shine, shine, shine.




Where do the children play

Well I think it's fine, building jumbo planes.
Or taking a ride on a cosmic train.
Switch on summer from a slot machine.
Get what you want to if you want, 'cause you can get anything.

I know we've come a long way,
We're changing day to day,
But tell me, where do the children play?

Well you roll on roads over fresh green grass.
For your lorryloads pumping petrol gas.
And you make them long, and you make them tough.
But they just go on and on, and it seems you can't get off.

Oh, I know we've come a long way,
We're changing day to day,
But tell me, where do the children play?

When you crack the sky, scrapers fill the air.
Will you keep on building higher
'til there's no more room up there?
Will you make us laugh, will you make us cry?
Will you tell us when to live, will you tell us when to die?

I know we've come a long way,
We're changing day to day,
But tell me, where do the children play?




I f you want to sing out, sing out

Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
'Cause there's a million things to be
You know that there are

And if you want to live high, live high
And if you want to live low, live low
'Cause there's a million ways to go
You know that there are

Chorus:
You can do what you want
The opportunity's on
And if you can find a new way
You can do it today
You can make it all true
And you can make it undo
you see ah ah ah
its easy ah ah ah
You only need to know

Well if you want to say yes, say yes
And if you want to say no, say no
'Cause there's a million ways to go
You know that there are

And if you want to be me, be me
And if you want to be you, be you
'Cause there's a million things to do
You know that there are

Chorus

Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
'Cause there's a million things to be
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are





Trouble

Trouble
Oh trouble set me free
I have seen your face
And it's too much too much for me

Trouble
Oh trouble can't you see
You're eating my heart away
And there's nothing much left of me

I've drunk your wine
You have made your world mine
So won't you be fair
So won't you be fair

I don't want no more of you
So won't you be kind to me
Just let me go where
I'll have to go there

Trouble
Oh trouble move away
I have seen your face
and it's too much for me today

Trouble
Oh trouble can't you see
You have made me a wreck
Now won't you leave me in my misery

I've seen your eyes
and I can see death's disguise
Hangin' on me
Hangin' on me

I'm beat, I'm torn
Shattered and tossed and worn
Too shocking to see
Too shocking to see

Trouble
Oh trouble move from me
I have paid my debt
Now won't you leave me in my misery

Trouble
Oh trouble please be kind
I don't want no fight
And I haven't got a lot of time


I am grateful to the Harold and Maude Webb site for this


Sunday, 14 June 2009

The Man on the bendybus

A man appeared on the bendy bus as the bus snaked between New Cross and Lewisham. The man was caked in dirt ,black with filthy fingers raw with injury. He tried to hide from the driver by squatting in the centre of the bendy part of the bus taking intermittent swigs from a can of illicit lager. The distinctive lager stink wafted occasionally in my direction. When the bus judders I saw the man's wounded fingers as he grasped the hand rail beside me. The man was confused and made a false recognition of a mistaken friend who pretended knowledge to make fun, a sort of odd sport that some make of drunks and the mentally infirm. The delusion was momentarily a fantasy between the two men till realisation struck the drunken man who slumped down on the bus floor in obvious dejection grabbed for the near empty lager can to satisfy an endless need. He cursed the can when it ultimately became empty.

Tuesday, 9 June 2009

Bastards and church attendance

I am plowing through the Bible and have come across a right old statement. If you are a bastard none of your family for 10 following generations can enter a church. A generation is roughly 35 to 40 years therefore 350 to 400 years. The Lindsay clan was renowned for fornication in the 17th and 18th century. The family crest has bar sinister that is a diagonal black line this warns of bastards in the clan. The Lindsay clan has two bar sinister showing that there are a plethora of bastards in the family. So am I banned from entering a church? Looks like it.

The Erlking

Just heard Schubert's very frightening Leider version. It is utterly compelling and totally scary.
Erlkönig Erlking
von J.W. Goethe Translation by Hyde Flippo

Wer reitet so spät durch Nacht und Wind? Who rides so late through the night and wind?
Es ist der Vater mit seinem Kind; It's the father with his child;
Er hat den Knaben wohl in dem Arm, He has the boy safe in his arm,
Er faßt ihn sicher, er hält ihn warm. He holds him secure, he holds him warm.
«Mein Sohn, was birgst du so bang dein Gesicht?» – “My son, what makes you hide your face in fear?” –
Siehst, Vater, du den Erlkönig nicht? Father, don't you see the Erlking?
Den Erlenkönig mit Kron und Schweif? – The Erlking with crown and flowing robe? –
«Mein Sohn, es ist ein Nebelstreif.» – “My son, it's a wisp of fog.” –
«Du liebes Kind, komm, geh mit mir! “You dear child, come along with me!
Gar schöne Spiele spiel' ich mit dir; Such lovely games I'll play with you;
Manch bunte Blumen sind an dem Strand, Many colorful flowers are at the shore,
Meine Mutter hat manch gülden Gewand.» My mother has many a golden garment.”
Mein Vater, mein Vater, und hörest du nicht, My father, my father, and do you not hear
Was Erlenkönig mir leise verspricht? – What the Erlking promises me so softly? –
«Sei ruhig, bleibe ruhig, mein Kind; “Be quiet, stay quiet, my child;
In dürren Blättern säuselt der Wind.» – In the dry leaves the wind is rustling.” –
«Willst, feiner Knabe, du mit mir gehn? “Won't you come along with me, my fine boy?
Meine Töchter sollen dich warten schön; My daughters shall attend to you so nicely.
Meine Töchter führen den nächtlichen Reihn, My daughters do their nightly dance,
Und wiegen und tanzen und singen dich ein.» And they'll rock you and dance you and sing you to sleep.”
Mein Vater, mein Vater, und siehst du nicht dort My father, my father, and do you not see over there
Erlkönigs Töchter am düstern Ort? – Erlking's daughters in that dark place? –
«Mein Sohn, mein Sohn, ich seh es genau: “My son, my son, I see it most definitely:
Es scheinen die alten Weiden so grau.» It's the willow trees looking so grey.”
«Ich liebe dich, mich reizt deine schöne Gestalt; “I love you; I'm charmed by your beautiful form;
Und bist du nicht willig, so brauch ich Gewalt.» And if you're not willing, then I'll use force.”
Mein Vater, mein Vater, jetzt faßt er mich an! My father, my father, now he's grabbing hold of me!
Erlkönig hat mir ein Leids getan! – Erlking has done me harm! –
Dem Vater grausets, er reitet geschwind, The father shudders, he rides swiftly,
Er hält in Armen das ächzende Kind, He holds in (his) arms the moaning child.
Erreicht den Hof mit Mühe und Not; He reaches the farmhouse with effort and urgency.
In seinen Armen das Kind war tot. In his arms the child was dead.


Wow...

Saturday, 6 June 2009

What an unday

I sat in the flat today wondering what to do. I felt tired out by the past week and looked out at the rain that had shattered the sunshine days that the week began with. Strange feelings seemed to fill my body. Tiredness made me dream odd panicky visions that were like ghosts questioning the space I inhabit. Funny strange and unilluminating but creepily numbing. Its an odd off day undelivered actions of earlier wants dissolved into dislodged feelings and like unset words on a crumpled page. May be I am being confused by having a non day unforged like molten lead waiting for an artist to shape. The artist like Godot had not turned up and like a Becket character I was paralysed in unmoved action. Unformed and unfunctioned seems the theme and perverse conclusion of this unday. I wait for the unday to dissolve into a real tomorrow and not a strange unsettling untomorrow.

Saturday, 23 May 2009

Walt Whitman the loss of innocence

"Demon or bird! (said the boy's soul,)Is it indeed toward your mate you sing? or is it really to me?For I, that was a child, my tongue's use sleeping, now I have heard you,Now in a moment I know what I am for, I awake....Never more the cries of unsatisfied love be absent from me,Never again leave me to be the peaceful child I was before whatthere in the night,By the sea under the yellow and sagging moon,The messenger there arous'd, the fire, the sweet hell within,The unknown want, the destiny of me." When did we stop being a child and become an adult. There are times I wish I was still 10 playing as a child enjoying the sunshine and games with my friends.

Monday, 11 May 2009

Its all a game

One evening, Graham met the English head doctor Reginald Derbyshire. Explain now what the explanation, notwithstanding, Graham must tease exquisitely yet tactfully, yearning, guised doggedly, yodeling, gurns shamefaced. Derbyshire, exasperated, dementure exuding, gangly youthful loud dragnet trouble enduring Graham's stupefying gasps. Suddenly , yet triumphant, turning gadgets , subdued distant target , the end.

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Somewhere between twitchers whimsy and acidic airs

I must say that I never knew that you could combine a whimsical comedian who spent the evening warmly trolling through a birdwatching competition that he had had with his father and a singer who did a good line in songs based on failed relationships and whatever she thought had annoyed her or rather depressed her. Well my friend had invited me to this free cabaret set in Foyles Book shop, Rays Jazz stage, so we were sitting listening to this mixed bag of variety and sipping on fruity infusions. We warmed to the ramshackle comedian and his limp comedy but fled when the singer did her final numbers.

Saturday, 18 April 2009

Fox and cat

This morning a fox lay basking in the new morning sun. It curled itself catlike in front of the shed. It enjoyed the sunshine rays, so longed for during the long never ending winter months. A white cat jumps down from a wall and looks at the fox and gently makes sure that the fox is not woken. It quietly pads back up onto the wall and deftly clambers three leggedly along the back fence. This three legged dance must have been hard learnt as the fence is far too thin for four feline feet. But the cat with knowing ease scampers along and jumps into the safety of the neighbouring garden. It plays in the long grass jumping and skipping at invisible feline fancies. Meanwhile the fox lifts its head and smells the cat filled air and looks around for the cat; nothing there, no cat to be seen. The fox makes a casual look with a move of its head then decides, there is no cat and returns his head back to being snuggled into its body. It enjoys the heat of the sun on its body. The Sun is a welcome friend and like that fox I now sit and enjoy the welcome rays.

Friday, 17 April 2009

Are you sitting comfortably then I shall begin

I love days like this...sitting all snug inside while the rain lashes down outside. The rain bounces and thrashes against the window causing a gray haze so typically London in hue. I look out the window of my friends house in Bexleyheath and watch the puddles dancing with the April rain splashing and teasing the ground with their pattering and drumming. For once I feel at peace not fretting about what music needs preparing or who said what about who.... I am relaxed, comfortable, daydreaming; thinking of friends and how they are, wondering if this year will get better financially and thinking how gentle my heart is beating. This moment is a calm gentle moment. Work is a distant journey to be travelled in more than a week, I am free for the moment from the clatter of the thud thud thud of works grinding relentless sapping energy. This present peace is intoxicating and is breathing a new spirit of energy back into my soul. I cannot say why but sitting here looking through this window at the pounding rain seems the most natural and soul enhancing activity. It is hypnotic.

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Space time relation paradox

Ass
what is Space time?
Nine
Are you mad?
Ass
No...madness is an irrational state of existence
Nine
Exactly so is space time
Ass
What do you mean?
Nine
Imagine you are talking to me
Ass
But I am talking to you as mad as that may seem
Nine
Well imagine two people together
Ass
Are they facing each other?
Nine
Yes but where are they in time and space?
Ass
Well they are together at the same time in the same space talking
Nine
ghghhhhggtrtyyyrr!
Ass
What have I said? You are imitating my response to a cliche.
Nine
It is a bit banal and also wrong.
Ass
How is it wrong?
Nine
You are confusing perceived notions of reality with scientific reality.
Ass
Eh?
Nine
Imagine you are alone
Ass
I wish I was now
Nine
Come on and concentrate...close your eyes
Ass
Ok they are shut
Nine
Imagine you are looking around at your environment
Ass
Everything?
Nine
At everything
Ass
So what?
Nine
Here is a little fact, it takes about 8 minutes for the light of the sun to travel to the earth to light up what you are seeing
Ass
8 minutes...I can leave the house go to the shop, buy a newspaper, wander about a bit get back to the house and then bang the sun hits.
Nine
Exactly, so the light travels from the sun before you left the house and you can do all those things before the sun hits.
Ass
But the light is continuous
Nine
That is true
Ass
So if I left the house at 8 AM I would be illuminated by light was shining from the sun at 7.52 AM
Nine
OK...so you see how light takes time to travel from the Sun to Earth to illumate what is around you?
Ass
That seems fair enough
Nine
There is a little extra part to this
Ass
What else?
Nine
Well the distance between what you see and the time it takes to be illuminated by the sun
Ass
But I see that instantly
Nine
Not quite
Ass
I look and there it is
Nine
There is a minuscule delay between the light hitting the object and you seeing the object
Ass
Are you trying to tell me....what are you trying to tell me?
Nine
Everything that you see is not in the physical present but in the past due to the time it takes for the reflection of light off an object into your consciousness.
Ass
Is that true about all your physical senses
Nine
Absolutely.. now here is the paradox
Ass
For heavens sake I was just about grasping the concepts you were bombarding me with why introduce a paradox?
Nine
Its just an absolutely wonderful paradox
Ass
OK Mr Paradox.. go for it
Nine
We both think we see each other in the present but due to the way our senses register what is around us, the time delay causes me to see everything you do as being in the past. To me you do not exist in the present only in the past. The only thing that exists in the present is myself.
Ass
But the same is correct for me?
Nine
Yes...hence the paradox.
Ass
So what about the future?
Nine
I am not sure the future exists in terms of human existence only the present and the past.
Ass
My head hurts
Nine
There lies your madness

Monday, 13 April 2009

Ass and Nine

Ass
what?
Nine
I didn't say anything
Ass
No..no...no...I mean...what is the point?
Nine
The point of what?
Ass
Exactly
Nine
Exactly what?
Ass
The meaning of what
Nine
Its a question of existence
Ass
Oh as in what is the meaning?
Nine
Or what are you driving at?
Ass
What gets the ball rolling
Nine
No time for cliches
Ass
What?
Nine
A boring repeated answer that has no real meaning other than a tired unimaginative response
Ass
So you are saying I am boring and unimaginative?
Nine
You are when you use cliches...
Ass
Its hard being imaginative
Nine
Banal statements are dull chunks of meat hung out by tedium butchers
Ass
Lets make a pact
Nine
Why?
Ass
Every time you say a cliche I can say something totally absurd in response
Nine
So what happens when you make a cliche?
Ass
Nothing at all, I am afflicted by the banal statement
Nine
An affliction that I will comment on..
Ass
Is existence a cliche?
Nine
It can be banal, full of used tired statements..leading nowhere
Ass
A suburban mantra that is brainlessly repeated as part of a conversation ritual
Nine
Where did that come from?
Ass
I don't know, I surprise myself sometimes
Nine
Lets get back to the word What?
Ass
Why?
Nine
Why is good
Ass
bggdcbhscjjjjjjjjjjjjj yuck!
Nine
What now?
Ass
Cliche alert
Nine
Whatever do you mean?
Ass
I think that you were about to say how good making questions are
Nine
So?
Ass
So in itself that is a banality
Nine
I guess banalities are the starting points for true profundity in the meaning of existence
Ass
Are they really?
Nine
Well you have to start somewhere
Ass
Cant you start exploring the meaning of existence further into the explanation rather than starting from the banal first question?
Nine
I don't think you can
Ass
Here is a banal question, what is the meaning of existence?
Nine
That question can never have a satisfactory answer.
Ass
jijjitghrfddde..ggggggggggggggggggggggggty
Nine
What did I say now?
Ass
Your answer was a cliche a cop out
Nine
Religion gives you an answer, science gives you a theory..but existence depends on where you are and how you relate to it.
Ass
I could make silly noises all the day long

Sunday, 5 April 2009

London

London is a place that draws me in, it draws me into its wild and multifaceted mechanisms; I want to run away from the congested and bitter crowds that knock and sear into my daily consciousness; I try and block out the rude crushing crowds, the stop start trains, the screeching daily relentless drive that propels each day barging with indifference faceless blankly dead expressions. The chug chug chug of the passing day transforms warm blooded vitality into faded bony remnants. But beyond the darkness of the daily drudging feet and communal daily confluence lies the London that holds me with its great transforming gaze. There within its machinery lies plots of escapism to delight the senses with its quirky lumen essence. Sitting on some grass at the twilight age of the day the sky is a mixture of yellows reds and gray-blues, trees lost of leaves branch upward filling the horizon caressing the darkening textured night sky. London is at its best from twilight to dawn.

Saturday, 4 April 2009

David my brother 7 Nov 1962 - 4 April 2006

Its three years since he died. I miss him so much. He was so much apart of the weft and weave of my life. I cannot forgive the fact that I took for granted his daily existence. I just assumed that he would be there. He would be still there taking the Michael out of me. He meant so much of the fun of life. I cannot laugh now. I cry each day. He was a sod at times and hurt me but his going kills my spirit. I feel numb. I want to cry but that seems pointless. My tears seem to flow into a vacuum. My heart seems like an empty space. My cognitive skills seem so empty, the English language or any language cannot express the utter sadness that my heart feels. I wanted to scream at his funeral but everyone else seemed to sum up better their loss. I went away the feeling of sadness. I wanted to shout with anguish to state how his death had killed me. He was a vibrancy that I could not hold an equation that I could not sum a human being in all its weaknesses that I could not hold... I miss him so much, each day seems like a new start but I grieve..I hate myself for him dieing so young..I just do not understand why he died...there is nothing that I can hold on to that will give me any comfort for his death.. I wanted to die in his place..my grief is beyond any physical pain.

Thursday, 2 April 2009

Banks and rebellion

I had a wee appointment at Drummonds Bank. When I got there a notice the size of a postage stamp told me that for the good of my health the bank was shut. It was 9.30 and unknown to me Trafalgar square was to be swarmed with rebellious types who would later have a set too with police and one would be killed. This took me back to 1990 when I missed the Poll Tax riots when a friend got hit on the head by a brick luckily he met me later. The man died of internal bleeding from a thuggish police assault...the policeman responsible has been suspended and he could be charged with murder/manslaughter....the sad irony was the man killed was not in the protest, he was just wandering past.

Saturday, 28 March 2009

Jackson Pollock

In 1950,Hans Nemuth, a young photographer, wanted to photograph and film Pollock at work. Pollock promised to start a new painting especially for the photographic session, but when Namuth arrived, Pollock apologized and told him the painting was finished. Namuth's comment upon entering the studio:

A dripping wet canvas covered the entire floor. . . There was complete silence. . . Pollock looked at the painting. Then, unexpectedly, he picked up can and paint brush and started to move around the canvas. It was as if he suddenly realized the painting was not finished. His movements, slow at first, gradually became faster and more dance like as he flung black, white, and rust colored paint onto the canvas. He completely forgot that Lee and I were there; he did not seem to hear the click of the camera shutter. . . My photography session lasted as long as he kept painting, perhaps half an hour. In all that time, Pollock did not stop. How could one keep up this level of activity? Finally, he said 'This is it.'


Pollock’s finest paintings… reveal that his all-over line does not give rise to positive or negative areas: we are not made to feel that one part of the canvas demands to be read as figure, whether abstract or representational, against another part of the canvas read as ground. There is not inside or outside to Pollock’s line or the space through which it moves…. Pollock has managed to free line not only from its function of representing objects in the world, but also from its task of describing or bounding shapes or figures, whether abstract or representational, on the surface of the canvas.

Nelson Mandela April 20 1964

I am the First Accused.
I hold a Bachelor's Degree in Arts and practised as an attorney in Johannesburg for a number of years in partnership with Oliver Tambo. I am a convicted prisoner serving five years for leaving the country without a permit and for inciting people to go on strike at the end of May 1961.
At the outset, I want to say that the suggestion made by the State in its opening that the struggle in South Africa is under the influence of foreigners or communists is wholly incorrect. I have done whatever I did, both as an individual and as a leader of my people, because of my experience in South Africa and my own proudly felt African background, and not because of what any outsider might have said.
In my youth in the Transkei I listened to the elders of my tribe telling stories of the old days. Amongst the tales they related to me were those of wars fought by our ancestors in defence of the fatherland. The names of Dingane and Bambata, Hintsa and Makana, Squngthi and Dalasile, Moshoeshoe and Sekhukhuni, were praised as the glory of the entire African nation. I hoped then that life might offer me the opportunity to serve my people and make my own humble contribution to their freedom struggle. This is what has motivated me in all that I have done in relation to the charges made against me in this case.
Having said this, I must deal immediately and at some length with the question of violence. Some of the things so far told to the Court are true and some are untrue. I do not, however, deny that I planned sabotage. I did not plan it in a spirit of recklessness, nor because I have any love of violence. I planned it as a result of a calm and sober assessment of the political situation that had arisen after many years of tyranny, exploitation, and oppression of my people by the Whites.
I admit immediately that I was one of the persons who helped to form Umkhonto we Sizwe, and that I played a prominent role in its affairs until I was arrested in August 1962.
In the statement which I am about to make I shall correct certain false impressions which have been created by State witnesses. Amongst other things, I will demonstrate that certain of the acts referred to in the evidence were not and could not have been committed by Umkhonto. I will also deal with the relationship between the African National Congress and Umkhonto, and with the part which I personally have played in the affairs of both organizations. I shall deal also with the part played by the Communist Party. In order to explain these matters properly, I will have to explain what Umkhonto set out to achieve; what methods it prescribed for the achievement of these objects, and why these methods were chosen. I will also have to explain how I became involved in the activities of these organizations.
I deny that Umkhonto was responsible for a number of acts which clearly fell outside the policy of the organization, and which have been charged in the indictment against us. I do not know what justification there was for these acts, but to demonstrate that they could not have been authorized by Umkhonto, I want to refer briefly to the roots and policy of the organization.
I have already mentioned that I was one of the persons who helped to form Umkhonto. I, and the others who started the organization, did so for two reasons. Firstly, we believed that as a result of Government policy, violence by the African people had become inevitable, and that unless responsible leadership was given to canalize and control the feelings of our people, there would be outbreaks of terrorism which would produce an intensity of bitterness and hostility between the various races of this country which is not produced even by war. Secondly, we felt that without violence there would be no way open to the African people to succeed in their struggle against the principle of white supremacy. All lawful modes of expressing opposition to this principle had been closed by legislation, and we were placed in a position in which we had either to accept a permanent state of inferiority, or to defy the Government. We chose to defy the law. We first broke the law in a way which avoided any recourse to violence; when this form was legislated against, and then the Government resorted to a show of force to crush opposition to its policies, only then did we decide to answer violence with violence.
But the violence which we chose to adopt was not terrorism. We who formed Umkhonto were all members of the African National Congress, and had behind us the ANC tradition of non-violence and negotiation as a means of solving political disputes. We believe that South Africa belongs to all the people who live in it, and not to one group, be it black or white. We did not want an interracial war, and tried to avoid it to the last minute. If the Court is in doubt about this, it will be seen that the whole history of our organization bears out what I have said, and what I will subsequently say, when I describe the tactics which Umkhonto decided to adopt. I want, therefore, to say something about the African National Congress.
The African National Congress was formed in 1912 to defend the rights of the African people which had been seriously curtailed by the South Africa Act, and which were then being threatened by the Native Land Act. For thirty-seven years - that is until 1949 - it adhered strictly to a constitutional struggle. It put forward demands and resolutions; it sent delegations to the Government in the belief that African grievances could be settled through peaceful discussion and that Africans could advance gradually to full political rights. But White Governments remained unmoved, and the rights of Africans became less instead of becoming greater. In the words of my leader, Chief Lutuli, who became President of the ANC in 1952, and who was later awarded the Nobel Peace Prize:
"Who will deny that thirty years of my life have been spent knocking in vain, patiently, moderately, and modestly at a closed and barred door? What have been the fruits of moderation? The past thirty years have seen the greatest number of laws restricting our rights and progress, until today we have reached a stage where we have almost no rights at all."
Even after 1949, the ANC remained determined to avoid violence. At this time, however, there was a change from the strictly constitutional means of protest which had been employed in the past. The change was embodied in a decision which was taken to protest against apartheid legislation by peaceful, but unlawful, demonstrations against certain laws. Pursuant to this policy the ANC launched the Defiance Campaign, in which I was placed in charge of volunteers. This campaign was based on the principles of passive resistance. More than 8,500 people defied apartheid laws and went to jail. Yet there was not a single instance of violence in the course of this campaign on the part of any defier. I and nineteen colleagues were convicted for the role which we played in organizing the campaign, but our sentences were suspended mainly because the Judge found that discipline and non-violence had been stressed throughout. This was the time when the volunteer section of the ANC was established, and when the word 'Amadelakufa' was first used: this was the time when the volunteers were asked to take a pledge to uphold certain principles. Evidence dealing with volunteers and their pledges has been introduced into this case, but completely out of context. The volunteers were not, and are not, the soldiers of a black army pledged to fight a civil war against the whites. They were, and are, dedicated workers who are prepared to lead campaigns initiated by the ANC to distribute leaflets, to organize strikes, or do whatever the particular campaign required. They are called volunteers because they volunteer to face the penalties of imprisonment and whipping which are now prescribed by the legislature for such acts.
During the Defiance Campaign, the Public Safety Act and the Criminal Law Amendment Act were passed. These Statutes provided harsher penalties for offences committed by way of protests against laws. Despite this, the protests continued and the ANC adhered to its policy of non-violence. In 1956, 156 leading members of the Congress Alliance, including myself, were arrested on a charge of high treason and charges under the Suppression of Communism Act. The non-violent policy of the ANC was put in issue by the State, but when the Court gave judgement some five years later, it found that the ANC did not have a policy of violence. We were acquitted on all counts, which included a count that the ANC sought to set up a communist state in place of the existing regime. The Government has always sought to label all its opponents as communists. This allegation has been repeated in the present case, but as I will show, the ANC is not, and never has been, a communist organization.
In 1960 there was the shooting at Sharpeville, which resulted in the proclamation of a state of emergency and the declaration of the ANC as an unlawful organization. My colleagues and I, after careful consideration, decided that we would not obey this decree. The African people were not part of the Government and did not make the laws by which they were governed. We believed in the words of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, that 'the will of the people shall be the basis of authority of the Government,' and for us to accept the banning was equivalent to accepting the silencing of the Africans for all time. The ANC refused to dissolve, but instead went underground. We believed it was our duty to preserve this organization which had been built up with almost fifty years of unremitting toil. I have no doubt that no self-respecting White political organization would disband itself if declared illegal by a government in which it had no say.
In 1960 the Government held a referendum which led to the establishment of the Republic. Africans, who constituted approximately 70 per cent of the population of South Africa, were not entitled to vote, and were not even consulted about the proposed constitutional change. All of us were apprehensive of our future under the proposed White Republic, and a resolution was taken to hold an All-In African Conference to call for a National Convention, and to organize mass demonstrations on the eve of the unwanted Republic, if the Government failed to call the Convention. The conference was attended by Africans of various political persuasions. I was the Secretary of the conference and undertook to be responsible for organizing the national stay-at-home which was subsequently called to coincide with the declaration of the Republic. As all strikes by Africans are illegal, the person organizing such a strike must avoid arrest. I was chosen to be this person, and consequently I had to leave my home and family and my practice and go into hiding to avoid arrest.
The stay-at-home, in accordance with ANC policy, was to be a peaceful demonstration. Careful instructions were given to organizers and members to avoid any recourse to violence. The Government's answer was to introduce new and harsher laws, to mobilize its armed forces, and to send Saracens, armed vehicles, and soldiers into the townships in a massive show of force designed to intimidate the people. This was an indication that the Government had decided to rule by force alone, and this decision was a milestone on the road to Umkhonto.
Some of this may appear irrelevant to this trial. In fact, I believe none of it is irrelevant because it will, I hope, enable the Court to appreciate the attitude eventually adopted by the various persons and bodies concerned in the National Liberation Movement. When I went to jail in 1962, the dominant idea was that loss of life should be avoided. I now know that this was still so in 1963.
I must return to June 1961. What were we, the leaders of our people, to do? Were we to give in to the show of force and the implied threat against future action, or were we to fight it and, if so, how?
We had no doubt that we had to continue the fight. Anything else would have been abject surrender. Our problem was not whether to fight, but was how to continue the fight. We of the ANC had always stood for a non-racial democracy, and we shrank from any action which might drive the races further apart than they already were. But the hard facts were that fifty years of non-violence had brought the African people nothing but more and more repressive legislation, and fewer and fewer rights. It may not be easy for this Court to understand, but it is a fact that for a long time the people had been talking of violence - of the day when they would fight the White man and win back their country - and we, the leaders of the ANC, had nevertheless always prevailed upon them to avoid violence and to pursue peaceful methods. When some of us discussed this in May and June of 1961, it could not be denied that our policy to achieve a non-racial State by non-violence had achieved nothing, and that our followers were beginning to lose confidence in this policy and were developing disturbing ideas of terrorism.
It must not be forgotten that by this time violence had, in fact, become a feature of the South African political scene. There had been violence in 1957 when the women of Zeerust were ordered to carry passes; there was violence in 1958 with the enforcement of cattle culling in Sekhukhuniland; there was violence in 1959 when the people of Cato Manor protested against pass raids; there was violence in 1960 when the Government attempted to impose Bantu Authorities in Pondoland. Thirty-nine Africans died in these disturbances. In 1961 there had been riots in Warmbaths, and all this time the Transkei had been a seething mass of unrest. Each disturbance pointed clearly to the inevitable growth among Africans of the belief that violence was the only way out - it showed that a Government which uses force to maintain its rule teaches the oppressed to use force to oppose it. Already small groups had arisen in the urban areas and were spontaneously making plans for violent forms of political struggle. There now arose a danger that these groups would adopt terrorism against Africans, as well as Whites, if not properly directed. Particularly disturbing was the type of violence engendered in places such as Zeerust, Sekhukhuniland, and Pondoland amongst Africans. It was increasingly taking the form, not of struggle against the Government - though this is what prompted it - but of civil strife amongst themselves, conducted in such a way that it could not hope to achieve anything other than a loss of life and bitterness.
At the beginning of June 1961, after a long and anxious assessment of the South African situation, I, and some colleagues, came to the conclusion that as violence in this country was inevitable, it would be unrealistic and wrong for African leaders to continue preaching peace and non-violence at a time when the Government met our peaceful demands with force.
This conclusion was not easily arrived at. It was only when all else had failed, when all channels of peaceful protest had been barred to us, that the decision was made to embark on violent forms of political struggle, and to form Umkhonto we Sizwe. We did so not because we desired such a course, but solely because the Government had left us with no other choice. In the Manifesto of Umkhonto published on 16 December 1961, which is Exhibit AD, we said:
"The time comes in the life of any nation when there remain only two choices - submit or fight. That time has now come to South Africa. We shall not submit and we have no choice but to hit back by all means in our power in defence of our people, our future, and our freedom."
This was our feeling in June of 1961 when we decided to press for a change in the policy of the National Liberation Movement. I can only say that I felt morally obliged to do what I did.
We who had taken this decision started to consult leaders of various organizations, including the ANC. I will not say whom we spoke to, or what they said, but I wish to deal with the role of the African National Congress in this phase of the struggle, and with the policy and objectives of Umkhonto we Sizwe.
As far as the ANC was concerned, it formed a clear view which can be summarized as follows:
It was a mass political organization with a political function to fulfil. Its members had joined on the express policy of non-violence.
Because of all this, it could not and would not undertake violence. This must be stressed. One cannot turn such a body into the small, closely knit organization required for sabotage. Nor would this be politically correct, because it would result in members ceasing to carry out this essential activity: political propaganda and organization. Nor was it permissible to change the whole nature of the organization.
On the other hand, in view of this situation I have described, the ANC was prepared to depart from its fifty-year-old policy of non-violence to this extent that it would no longer disapprove of properly controlled violence. Hence members who undertook such activity would not be subject to disciplinary action by the ANC.
I say 'properly controlled violence' because I made it clear that if I formed the organization I would at all times subject it to the political guidance of the ANC and would not undertake any different form of activity from that contemplated without the consent of the ANC. And I shall now tell the Court how that form of violence came to be determined.
As a result of this decision, Umkhonto was formed in November 1961. When we took this decision, and subsequently formulated our plans, the ANC heritage of non-violence and racial harmony was very much with us. We felt that the country was drifting towards a civil war in which Blacks and Whites would fight each other. We viewed the situation with alarm. Civil war could mean the destruction of what the ANC stood for; with civil war, racial peace would be more difficult than ever to achieve. We already have examples in South African history of the results of war. It has taken more than fifty years for the scars of the South African War to disappear. How much longer would it take to eradicate the scars of inter-racial civil war, which could not be fought without a great loss of life on both sides?
The avoidance of civil war had dominated our thinking for many years, but when we decided to adopt violence as part of our policy, we realized that we might one day have to face the prospect of such a war. This had to be taken into account in formulating our plans. We required a plan which was flexible and which permitted us to act in accordance with the needs of the times; above all, the plan had to be one which recognized civil war as the last resort, and left the decision on this question to the future. We did not want to be committed to civil war, but we wanted to be ready if it became inevitable.
Four forms of violence were possible. There is sabotage, there is guerrilla warfare, there is terrorism, and there is open revolution. We chose to adopt the first method and to exhaust it before taking any other decision.
In the light of our political background the choice was a logical one. Sabotage did not involve loss of life, and it offered the best hope for future race relations. Bitterness would be kept to a minimum and, if the policy bore fruit, democratic government could become a reality. This is what we felt at the time, and this is what we said in our Manifesto (Exhibit AD):
"We of Umkhonto we Sizwe have always sought to achieve liberation without bloodshed and civil clash. We hope, even at this late hour, that our first actions will awaken everyone to a realization of the disastrous situation to which the Nationalist policy is leading. We hope that we will bring the Government and its supporters to their senses before it is too late, so that both the Government and its policies can be changed before matters reach the desperate state of civil war."
The initial plan was based on a careful analysis of the political and economic situation of our country. We believed that South Africa depended to a large extent on foreign capital and foreign trade. We felt that planned destruction of power plants, and interference with rail and telephone communications, would tend to scare away capital from the country, make it more difficult for goods from the industrial areas to reach the seaports on schedule, and would in the long run be a heavy drain on the economic life of the country, thus compelling the voters of the country to reconsider their position.
Attacks on the economic life-lines of the country were to be linked with sabotage on Government buildings and other symbols of apartheid. These attacks would serve as a source of inspiration to our people. In addition, they would provide an outlet for those people who were urging the adoption of violent methods and would enable us to give concrete proof to our followers that we had adopted a stronger line and were fighting back against Government violence.
In addition, if mass action were successfully organized, and mass reprisals taken, we felt that sympathy for our cause would be roused in other countries, and that greater pressure would be brought to bear on the South African Government.
This then was the plan. Umkhonto was to perform sabotage, and strict instructions were given to its members right from the start, that on no account were they to injure or kill people in planning or carrying out operations. These instructions have been referred to in the evidence of 'Mr. X' and 'Mr. Z.'
The affairs of the Umkhonto were controlled and directed by a National High Command, which had powers of co-option and which could, and did, appoint Regional Commands. The High Command was the body which determined tactics and targets and was in charge of training and finance. Under the High Command there were Regional Commands which were responsible for the direction of the local sabotage groups. Within the framework of the policy laid down by the National High Command, the Regional Commands had authority to select the targets to be attacked. They had no authority to go beyond the prescribed framework and thus had no authority to embark upon acts which endangered life, or which did not fit into the overall plan of sabotage. For instance, Umkhonto members were forbidden ever to go armed into operation. Incidentally, the terms High Command and Regional Command were an importation from the Jewish national underground organization Irgun Zvai Leumi, which operated in Israel between 1944 and 1948.
Umkhonto had its first operation on 16 December 1961, when Government buildings in Johannesburg, Port Elizabeth and Durban were attacked. The selection of targets is proof of the policy to which I have referred. Had we intended to attack life we would have selected targets where people congregated and not empty buildings and power stations. The sabotage which was committed before 16 December 1961 was the work of isolated groups and had no connection whatever with Umkhonto. In fact, some of these and a number of later acts were claimed by other organizations.
The Manifesto of Umkhonto was issued on the day that operations commenced. The response to our actions and Manifesto among the white population was characteristically violent. The Government threatened to take strong action, and called upon its supporters to stand firm and to ignore the demands of the Africans. The Whites failed to respond by suggesting change; they responded to our call by suggesting the laager.
In contrast, the response of the Africans was one of encouragement. Suddenly there was hope again. Things were happening. People in the townships became eager for political news. A great deal of enthusiasm was generated by the initial successes, and people began to speculate on how soon freedom would be obtained.
But we in Umkhonto weighed up the white response with anxiety. The lines were being drawn. The whites and blacks were moving into separate camps, and the prospects of avoiding a civil war were made less. The white newspapers carried reports that sabotage would be punished by death. If this was so, how could we continue to keep Africans away from terrorism?
Already scores of Africans had died as a result of racial friction. In 1920 when the famous leader, Masabala, was held in Port Elizabeth jail, twenty-four of a group of Africans who had gathered to demand his release were killed by the police and white civilians. In 1921 more than one hundred Africans died in the Bulhoek affair. In 1924 over two hundred Africans were killed when the Administrator of South-West Africa led a force against a group which had rebelled against the imposition of dog tax. On 1 May 1950, eighteen Africans died as a result of police shootings during the strike. On 21 March 1960, sixty-nine unarmed Africans died at Sharpeville.
How many more Sharpevilles would there be in the history of our country? And how many more Sharpevilles could the country stand without violence and terror becoming the order of the day? And what would happen to our people when that stage was reached? In the long run we felt certain we must succeed, but at what cost to ourselves and the rest of the country? And if this happened, how could black and white ever live together again in peace and harmony? These were the problems that faced us, and these were our decisions.
Experience convinced us that rebellion would offer the Government limitless opportunities for the indiscriminate slaughter of our people. But it was precisely because the soil of South Africa is already drenched with the blood of innocent Africans that we felt it our duty to make preparations as a long-term undertaking to use force in order to defend ourselves against force. If war were inevitable, we wanted the fight to be conducted on terms most favorable to our people. The fight which held out prospects best for us and the least risk of life to both sides was guerrilla warfare. We decided, therefore, in our preparations for the future, to make provision for the possibility of guerrilla warfare.
All whites undergo compulsory military training, but no such training was given to Africans. It was in our view essential to build up a nucleus of trained men who would be able to provide the leadership which would be required if guerrilla warfare started. We had to prepare for such a situation before it became too late to make proper preparations. It was also necessary to build up a nucleus of men trained in civil administration and other professions, so that Africans would be equipped to participate in the government of this country as soon as they were allowed to do so.
At this stage it was decided that I should attend the Conference of the Pan-African Freedom Movement for Central, East, and Southern Africa, which was to be held early in 1962 in Addis Ababa, and, because of our need for preparation, it was also decided that, after the conference, I would undertake a tour of the African States with a view to obtaining facilities for the training of soldiers, and that I would also solicit scholarships for the higher education of matriculated Africans. Training in both fields would be necessary, even if changes came about by peaceful means. Administrators would be necessary who would be willing and able to administer a non-racial State and so would men be necessary to control the army and police force of such a State.
It was on this note that I left South Africa to proceed to Addis Ababa as a delegate of the ANC. My tour was a success. Wherever I went I met sympathy for our cause and promises of help. All Africa was united against the stand of White South Africa, and even in London I was received with great sympathy by political leaders, such as Mr. Gaitskell and Mr. Grimond. In Africa I was promised support by such men as Julius Nyerere, now President of Tanganyika; Mr. Kawawa, then Prime Minister of Tanganyika; Emperor Haile Selassie of Ethiopia; General Abboud, President of the Sudan; Habib Bourguiba, President of Tunisia; Ben Bella, now President of Algeria; Modibo Keita, President of Mali; Leopold Senghor, President of Senegal; Sekou Toure, President of Guinea; President Tubman of Liberia; and Milton Obote, Prime Minister of Uganda. It was Ben Bella who invited me to visit Oujda, the Headquarters of the Algerian Army of National Liberation, the visit which is described in my diary, one of the Exhibits.
I started to make a study of the art of war and revolution and, whilst abroad, underwent a course in military training. If there was to be guerrilla warfare, I wanted to be able to stand and fight with my people and to share the hazards of war with them. Notes of lectures which I received in Algeria are contained in Exhibit 16, produced in evidence. Summaries of books on guerrilla warfare and military strategy have also been produced. I have already admitted that these documents are in my writing, and I acknowledge that I made these studies to equip myself for the role which I might have to play if the struggle drifted into guerrilla warfare. I approached this question as every African Nationalist should do. I was completely objective. The Court will see that I attempted to examine all types of authority on the subject - from the East and from the West, going back to the classic work of Clausewitz, and covering such a variety as Mao Tse Tung and Che Guevara on the one hand, and the writings on the Anglo-Boer War on the other. Of course, these notes are merely summaries of the books I read and do not contain my personal views.
I also made arrangements for our recruits to undergo military training. But here it was impossible to organize any scheme without the co-operation of the ANC offices in Africa. I consequently obtained the permission of the ANC in South Africa to do this. To this extent then there was a departure from the original decision of the ANC, but it applied outside South Africa only. The first batch of recruits actually arrived in Tanganyika when I was passing through that country on my way back to South Africa.
I returned to South Africa and reported to my colleagues on the results of my trip. On my return I found that there had been little alteration in the political scene save that the threat of a death penalty for sabotage had now become a fact. The attitude of my colleagues in Umkhonto was much the same as it had been before I left. They were feeling their way cautiously and felt that it would be a long time before the possibilities of sabotage were exhausted. In fact, the view was expressed by some that the training of recruits was premature. This is recorded by me in the document which is Exhibit R.14. After a full discussion, however, it was decided to go ahead with the plans for military training because of the fact that it would take many years to build up a sufficient nucleus of trained soldiers to start a guerrilla campaign, and whatever happened, the training would be of value.
I wish to turn now to certain general allegations made in this case by the State. But before doing so, I wish to revert to certain occurrences said by witnesses to have happened in Port Elizabeth and East London. I am referring to the bombing of private houses of pro-Government persons during September, October and November 1962. I do not know what justification there was for these acts, nor what provocation had been given. But if what I have said already is accepted, then it is clear that these acts had nothing to do with the carrying out of the policy of Umkhonto.
One of the chief allegations in the indictment is that the ANC was a party to a general conspiracy to commit sabotage. I have already explained why this is incorrect but how, externally, there was a departure from the original principle laid down by the ANC. There has, of course, been overlapping of functions internally as well, because there is a difference between a resolution adopted in the atmosphere of a committee room and the concrete difficulties that arise in the field of practical activity. At a later stage the position was further affected by bannings and house arrests, and by persons leaving the country to take up political work abroad. This led to individuals having to do work in different capacities. But though this may have blurred the distinction between Umkhonto and the ANC, it by no means abolished that distinction. Great care was taken to keep the activities of the two organizations in South Africa distinct. The ANC remained a mass political body of Africans only carrying on the type of political work they had conducted prior to 1961. Umkhonto remained a small organization recruiting its members from different races and organizations and trying to achieve its own particular object. The fact that members of Umkhonto were recruited from the ANC, and the fact that persons served both organizations, like Solomon Mbanjwa, did not, in our view, change the nature of the ANC or give it a policy of violence. This overlapping of officers, however, was more the exception than the rule. This is why persons such as 'Mr. X' and 'Mr. Z,' who were on the Regional Command of their respective areas, did not participate in any of the ANC committees or activities, and why people such as Mr. Bennett Mashiyana and Mr. Reginald Ndubi did not hear of sabotage at their ANC meetings.
Another of the allegations in the indictment is that Rivonia was the headquarters of Umkhonto. This is not true of the time when I was there. I was told, of course, and knew that certain of the activities of the Communist Party were carried on there. But this is no reason (as I shall presently explain) why I should not use the place.
I came there in the following manner:
As already indicated, early in April 1961 I went underground to organize the May general strike. My work entailed travelling throughout the country, living now in African townships, then in country villages and again in cities.
During the second half of the year I started visiting the Parktown home of Arthur Goldreich, where I used to meet my family privately. Although I had no direct political association with him, I had known Arthur Goldreich socially since 1958.
In October, Arthur Goldreich informed me that he was moving out of town and offered me a hiding place there. A few days thereafter, he arranged for Michael Harmel to take me to Rivonia. I naturally found Rivonia an ideal place for the man who lived the life of an outlaw. Up to that time I had been compelled to live indoors during the daytime and could only venture out under cover of darkness. But at Liliesleaf [farm, Rivonia,] I could live differently and work far more efficiently.
For obvious reasons, I had to disguise myself and I assumed the fictitious name of David. In December, Arthur Goldreich and his family moved in. I stayed there until I went abroad on 11 January 1962. As already indicated, I returned in July 1962 and was arrested in Natal on 5 August.
Up to the time of my arrest, Liliesleaf farm was the headquarters of neither the African National Congress nor Umkhonto. With the exception of myself, none of the officials or members of these bodies lived there, no meetings of the governing bodies were ever held there, and no activities connected with them were either organized or directed from there. On numerous occasions during my stay at Liliesleaf farm I met both the Executive Committee of the ANC, as well as the NHC, but such meetings were held elsewhere and not on the farm.
Whilst staying at Liliesleaf farm, I frequently visited Arthur Goldreich in the main house and he also paid me visits in my room. We had numerous political discussions covering a variety of subjects. We discussed ideological and practical questions, the Congress Alliance, Umkhonto and its activities generally, and his experiences as a soldier in the Palmach, the military wing of the Haganah. Haganah was the political authority of the Jewish National Movement in Palestine.
Because of what I had got to know of Goldreich, I recommended on my return to South Africa that he should be recruited to Umkhonto. I do not know of my personal knowledge whether this was done.
Another of the allegations made by the State is that the aims and objects of the ANC and the Communist Party are the same. I wish to deal with this and with my own political position, because I must assume that the State may try to argue from certain Exhibits that I tried to introduce Marxism into the ANC. The allegation as to the ANC is false. This is an old allegation which was disproved at the Treason Trial and which has again reared its head. But since the allegation has been made again, I shall deal with it as well as with the relationship between the ANC and the Communist Party and Umkhonto and that party.
The ideological creed of the ANC is, and always has been, the creed of African Nationalism. It is not the concept of African Nationalism expressed in the cry, 'Drive the White man into the sea.' The African Nationalism for which the ANC stands is the concept of freedom and fulfilment for the African people in their own land. The most important political document ever adopted by the ANC is the 'Freedom Charter.' It is by no means a blueprint for a socialist state. It calls for redistribution, but not nationalization, of land; it provides for nationalization of mines, banks, and monopoly industry, because big monopolies are owned by one race only, and without such nationalization racial domination would be perpetuated despite the spread of political power. It would be a hollow gesture to repeal the Gold Law prohibitions against Africans when all gold mines are owned by European companies. In this respect the ANC's policy corresponds with the old policy of the present Nationalist Party which, for many years, had as part of its programme the nationalization of the gold mines which, at that time, were controlled by foreign capital. Under the Freedom Charter, nationalization would take place in an economy based on private enterprise. The realization of the Freedom Charter would open up fresh fields for a prosperous African population of all classes, including the middle class. The ANC has never at any period of its history advocated a revolutionary change in the economic structure of the country, nor has it, to the best of my recollection, ever condemned capitalist society.
As far as the Communist Party is concerned, and if I understand its policy correctly, it stands for the establishment of a State based on the principles of Marxism. Although it is prepared to work for the Freedom Charter, as a short term solution to the problems created by white supremacy, it regards the Freedom Charter as the beginning, and not the end, of its program.
The ANC, unlike the Communist Party, admitted Africans only as members. Its chief goal was, and is, for the African people to win unity and full political rights. The Communist Party's main aim, on the other hand, was to remove the capitalists and to replace them with a working-class government. The Communist Party sought to emphasize class distinctions whilst the ANC seeks to harmonize them. This is a vital distinction.
It is true that there has often been close co-operation between the ANC and the Communist Party. But co-operation is merely proof of a common goal - in this case the removal of white supremacy - and is not proof of a complete community of interests.
The history of the world is full of similar examples. Perhaps the most striking illustration is to be found in the co-operation between Great Britain, the United States of America, and the Soviet Union in the fight against Hitler. Nobody but Hitler would have dared to suggest that such co-operation turned Churchill or Roosevelt into communists or communist tools, or that Britain and America were working to bring about a communist world.
Another instance of such co-operation is to be found precisely in Umkhonto. Shortly after Umkhonto was constituted, I was informed by some of its members that the Communist Party would support Umkhonto, and this then occurred. At a later stage the support was made openly.
I believe that communists have always played an active role in the fight by colonial countries for their freedom, because the short-term objects of communism would always correspond with the long-term objects of freedom movements. Thus communists have played an important role in the freedom struggles fought in countries such as Malaya, Algeria, and Indonesia, yet none of these States today are communist countries. Similarly in the underground resistance movements which sprung up in Europe during the last World War, communists played an important role. Even General Chiang Kai-Shek, today one of the bitterest enemies of communism, fought together with the communists against the ruling class in the struggle which led to his assumption of power in China in the 1930s.
This pattern of co-operation between communists and non-communists has been repeated in the National Liberation Movement of South Africa. Prior to the banning of the Communist Party, joint campaigns involving the Communist Party and the Congress movements were accepted practice. African communists could, and did, become members of the ANC, and some served on the National, Provincial, and local committees. Amongst those who served on the National Executive are Albert Nzula, a former Secretary of the Communist Party, Moses Kotane, another former Secretary, and J. B. Marks, a former member of the Central Committee.
I joined the ANC in 1944, and in my younger days I held the view that the policy of admitting communists to the ANC, and the close co-operation which existed at times on specific issues between the ANC and the Communist Party, would lead to a watering down of the concept of African Nationalism. At that stage I was a member of the African National Congress Youth League, and was one of a group which moved for the expulsion of communists from the ANC. This proposal was heavily defeated. Amongst those who voted against the proposal were some of the most conservative sections of African political opinion. They defended the policy on the ground that from its inception the ANC was formed and built up, not as a political party with one school of political thought, but as a Parliament of the African people, accommodating people of various political convictions, all united by the common goal of national liberation. I was eventually won over to this point of view and I have upheld it ever since.
It is perhaps difficult for white South Africans, with an ingrained prejudice against communism, to understand why experienced African politicians so readily accept communists as their friends. But to us the reason is obvious. Theoretical differences amongst those fighting against oppression is a luxury we cannot afford at this stage. What is more, for many decades communists were the only political group in South Africa who were prepared to treat Africans as human beings and their equals; who were prepared to eat with us; talk with us, live with us, and work with us. They were the only political group which was prepared to work with the Africans for the attainment of political rights and a stake in society. Because of this, there are many Africans who, today, tend to equate freedom with communism. They are supported in this belief by a legislature which brands all exponents of democratic government and African freedom as communists and bans many of them (who are not communists) under the Suppression of Communism Act. Although I have never been a member of the Communist Party, I myself have been named under that pernicious Act because of the role I played in the Defiance Campaign. I have also been banned and imprisoned under that Act.
It is not only in internal politics that we count communists as amongst those who support our cause. In the international field, communist countries have always come to our aid. In the United Nations and other Councils of the world the communist bloc has supported the Afro-Asian struggle against colonialism and often seems to be more sympathetic to our plight than some of the Western powers. Although there is a universal condemnation of apartheid, the communist bloc speaks out against it with a louder voice than most of the white world. In these circumstances, it would take a brash young politician, such as I was in 1949, to proclaim that the Communists are our enemies.
I turn now to my own position. I have denied that I am a communist, and I think that in the circumstances I am obliged to state exactly what my political beliefs are.
I have always regarded myself, in the first place, as an African patriot. After all, I was born in Umtata, forty-six years ago. My guardian was my cousin, who was the acting paramount chief of Tembuland, and I am related both to the present paramount chief of Tembuland, Sabata Dalindyebo, and to Kaizer Matanzima, the Chief Minister of the Transkei.
Today I am attracted by the idea of a classless society, an attraction which springs in part from Marxist reading and, in part, from my admiration of the structure and organization of early African societies in this country. The land, then the main means of production, belonged to the tribe. There were no rich or poor and there was no exploitation.
It is true, as I have already stated, that I have been influenced by Marxist thought. But this is also true of many of the leaders of the new independent States. Such widely different persons as Gandhi, Nehru, Nkrumah, and Nasser all acknowledge this fact. We all accept the need for some form of socialism to enable our people to catch up with the advanced countries of this world and to overcome their legacy of extreme poverty. But this does not mean we are Marxists.
Indeed, for my own part, I believe that it is open to debate whether the Communist Party has any specific role to play at this particular stage of our political struggle. The basic task at the present moment is the removal of race discrimination and the attainment of democratic rights on the basis of the Freedom Charter. In so far as that Party furthers this task, I welcome its assistance. I realize that it is one of the means by which people of all races can be drawn into our struggle.
From my reading of Marxist literature and from conversations with Marxists, I have gained the impression that communists regard the parliamentary system of the West as undemocratic and reactionary. But, on the contrary, I am an admirer of such a system.
The Magna Carta, the Petition of Rights, and the Bill of Rights are documents which are held in veneration by democrats throughout the world.
I have great respect for British political institutions, and for the country's system of justice. I regard the British Parliament as the most democratic institution in the world, and the independence and impartiality of its judiciary never fails to arouse my admiration.
The American Congress, that country's doctrine of separation of powers, as well as the independence of its judiciary, arouses in me similar sentiments.
I have been influenced in my thinking by both West and East. All this has led me to feel that in my search for a political formula, I should be absolutely impartial and objective. I should tie myself to no particular system of society other than of socialism. I must leave myself free to borrow the best from the West and from the East . . .
There are certain Exhibits which suggest that we received financial support from abroad, and I wish to deal with this question.
Our political struggle has always been financed from internal sources - from funds raised by our own people and by our own supporters. Whenever we had a special campaign or an important political case - for example, the Treason Trial - we received financial assistance from sympathetic individuals and organizations in the Western countries. We had never felt it necessary to go beyond these sources.
But when in 1961 the Umkhonto was formed, and a new phase of struggle introduced, we realized that these events would make a heavy call on our slender resources, and that the scale of our activities would be hampered by the lack of funds. One of my instructions, as I went abroad in January 1962, was to raise funds from the African states.
I must add that, whilst abroad, I had discussions with leaders of political movements in Africa and discovered that almost every single one of them, in areas which had still not attained independence, had received all forms of assistance from the socialist countries, as well as from the West, including that of financial support. I also discovered that some well-known African states, all of them non-communists, and even anti-communists, had received similar assistance.
On my return to the Republic, I made a strong recommendation to the ANC that we should not confine ourselves to Africa and the Western countries, but that we should also send a mission to the socialist countries to raise the funds which we so urgently needed.
I have been told that after I was convicted such a mission was sent, but I am not prepared to name any countries to which it went, nor am I at liberty to disclose the names of the organizations and countries which gave us support or promised to do so.
As I understand the State case, and in particular the evidence of 'Mr. X,' the suggestion is that Umkhonto was the inspiration of the Communist Party which sought by playing upon imaginary grievances to enroll the African people into an army which ostensibly was to fight for African freedom, but in reality was fighting for a communist state. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact the suggestion is preposterous. Umkhonto was formed by Africans to further their struggle for freedom in their own land. Communists and others supported the movement, and we only wish that more sections of the community would join us.
Our fight is against real, and not imaginary, hardships or, to use the language of the State Prosecutor, 'so-called hardships.' Basically, we fight against two features which are the hallmarks of African life in South Africa and which are entrenched by legislation which we seek to have repealed. These features are poverty and lack of human dignity, and we do not need communists or so-called 'agitators' to teach us about these things.
South Africa is the richest country in Africa, and could be one of the richest countries in the world. But it is a land of extremes and remarkable contrasts. The whites enjoy what may well be the highest standard of living in the world, whilst Africans live in poverty and misery. Forty per cent of the Africans live in hopelessly overcrowded and, in some cases, drought-stricken Reserves, where soil erosion and the overworking of the soil makes it impossible for them to live properly off the land. Thirty per cent are laborers, labor tenants, and squatters on white farms and work and live under conditions similar to those of the serfs of the Middle Ages. The other 30 per cent live in towns where they have developed economic and social habits which bring them closer in many respects to white standards. Yet most Africans, even in this group, are impoverished by low incomes and high cost of living.
The highest-paid and the most prosperous section of urban African life is in Johannesburg. Yet their actual position is desperate. The latest figures were given on 25 March 1964 by Mr. Carr, Manager of the Johannesburg Non-European Affairs Department. The poverty datum line for the average African family in Johannesburg (according to Mr. Carr's department) is R42.84 per month. He showed that the average monthly wage is R32.24 and that 46 per cent of all African families in Johannesburg do not earn enough to keep them going.
Poverty goes hand in hand with malnutrition and disease. The incidence of malnutrition and deficiency diseases is very high amongst Africans. Tuberculosis, pellagra, kwashiorkor, gastro-enteritis, and scurvy bring death and destruction of health. The incidence of infant mortality is one of the highest in the world. According to the Medical Officer of Health for Pretoria, tuberculosis kills forty people a day (almost all Africans), and in 1961 there were 58,491 new cases reported. These diseases not only destroy the vital organs of the body, but they result in retarded mental conditions and lack of initiative, and reduce powers of concentration. The secondary results of such conditions affect the whole community and the standard of work performed by African laborers.
The complaint of Africans, however, is not only that they are poor and the whites are rich, but that the laws which are made by the whites are designed to preserve this situation. There are two ways to break out of poverty. The first is by formal education, and the second is by the worker acquiring a greater skill at his work and thus higher wages. As far as Africans are concerned, both these avenues of advancement are deliberately curtailed by legislation.
The present Government has always sought to hamper Africans in their search for education. One of their early acts, after coming into power, was to stop subsidies for African school feeding. Many African children who attended schools depended on this supplement to their diet. This was a cruel act.
There is compulsory education for all white children at virtually no cost to their parents, be they rich or poor. Similar facilities are not provided for the African children, though there are some who receive such assistance. African children, however, generally have to pay more for their schooling than whites. According to figures quoted by the South African Institute of Race Relations in its 1963 journal, approximately 40 per cent of African children in the age group between seven to fourteen do not attend school. For those who do attend school, the standards are vastly different from those afforded to white children. In 1960-61 the per capita Government spending on African students at State-aided schools was estimated at R12.46. In the same years, the per capita spending on white children in the Cape Province (which are the only figures available to me) was R144.57. Although there are no figures available to me, it can be stated, without doubt, that the white children on whom R144.57 per head was being spent all came from wealthier homes than African children on whom R12.46 per head was being spent.
The quality of education is also different. According to the Bantu Educational Journal, only 5,660 African children in the whole of South Africa passed their Junior Certificate in 1962, and in that year only 362 passed matric. This is presumably consistent with the policy of Bantu education about which the present Prime Minister said, during the debate on the Bantu Education Bill in 1953:
"When I have control of Native education I will reform it so that Natives will be taught from childhood to realize that equality with Europeans is not for them . . . People who believe in equality are not desirable teachers for Natives. When my Department controls Native education it will know for what class of higher education a Native is fitted, and whether he will have a chance in life to use his knowledge."
The other main obstacle to the economic advancement of the African is the industrial color-bar under which all the better jobs of industry are reserved for Whites only. Moreover, Africans who do obtain employment in the unskilled and semi-skilled occupations which are open to them are not allowed to form trade unions which have recognition under the Industrial Conciliation Act. This means that strikes of African workers are illegal, and that they are denied the right of collective bargaining which is permitted to the better-paid White workers. The discrimination in the policy of successive South African Governments towards African workers is demonstrated by the so-called 'civilized labor policy' under which sheltered, unskilled Government jobs are found for those white workers who cannot make the grade in industry, at wages which far exceed the earnings of the average African employee in industry.
The Government often answers its critics by saying that Africans in South Africa are economically better off than the inhabitants of the other countries in Africa. I do not know whether this statement is true and doubt whether any comparison can be made without having regard to the cost-of-living index in such countries. But even if it is true, as far as the African people are concerned it is irrelevant. Our complaint is not that we are poor by comparison with people in other countries, but that we are poor by comparison with the white people in our own country, and that we are prevented by legislation from altering this imbalance.
The lack of human dignity experienced by Africans is the direct result of the policy of white supremacy. White supremacy implies black inferiority. Legislation designed to preserve white supremacy entrenches this notion. Menial tasks in South Africa are invariably performed by Africans. When anything has to be carried or cleaned the white man will look around for an African to do it for him, whether the African is employed by him or not. Because of this sort of attitude, whites tend to regard Africans as a separate breed. They do not look upon them as people with families of their own; they do not realize that they have emotions - that they fall in love like white people do; that they want to be with their wives and children like white people want to be with theirs; that they want to earn enough money to support their families properly, to feed and clothe them and send them to school. And what 'house-boy' or 'garden-boy' or laborer can ever hope to do this?
Pass laws, which to the Africans are among the most hated bits of legislation in South Africa, render any African liable to police surveillance at any time. I doubt whether there is a single African male in South Africa who has not at some stage had a brush with the police over his pass. Hundreds and thousands of Africans are thrown into jail each year under pass laws. Even worse than this is the fact that pass laws keep husband and wife apart and lead to the breakdown of family life.
Poverty and the breakdown of family life have secondary effects. Children wander about the streets of the townships because they have no schools to go to, or no money to enable them to go to school, or no parents at home to see that they go to school, because both parents (if there be two) have to work to keep the family alive. This leads to a breakdown in moral standards, to an alarming rise in illegitimacy, and to growing violence which erupts not only politically, but everywhere. Life in the townships is dangerous. There is not a day that goes by without somebody being stabbed or assaulted. And violence is carried out of the townships in the white living areas. People are afraid to walk alone in the streets after dark. Housebreakings and robberies are increasing, despite the fact that the death sentence can now be imposed for such offences. Death sentences cannot cure the festering sore.
Africans want to be paid a living wage. Africans want to perform work which they are capable of doing, and not work which the Government declares them to be capable of. Africans want to be allowed to live where they obtain work, and not be endorsed out of an area because they were not born there. Africans want to be allowed to own land in places where they work, and not to be obliged to live in rented houses which they can never call their own. Africans want to be part of the general population, and not confined to living in their own ghettoes. African men want to have their wives and children to live with them where they work, and not be forced into an unnatural existence in men's hostels. African women want to be with their menfolk and not be left permanently widowed in the Reserves. Africans want to be allowed out after eleven o'clock at night and not to be confined to their rooms like little children. Africans want to be allowed to travel in their own country and to seek work where they want to and not where the Labor Bureau tells them to. Africans want a just share in the whole of South Africa; they want security and a stake in society.
Above all, we want equal political rights, because without them our disabilities will be permanent. I know this sounds revolutionary to the whites in this country, because the majority of voters will be Africans. This makes the white man fear democracy.
But this fear cannot be allowed to stand in the way of the only solution which will guarantee racial harmony and freedom for all. It is not true that the enfranchisement of all will result in racial domination. Political division, based on color, is entirely artificial and, when it disappears, so will the domination of one color group by another. The ANC has spent half a century fighting against racialism. When it triumphs it will not change that policy.
This then is what the ANC is fighting. Their struggle is a truly national one. It is a struggle of the African people, inspired by their own suffering and their own experience. It is a struggle for the right to live.
During my lifetime I have dedicated myself to this struggle of the African people. I have fought against white domination, and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.
Nelson Mandela - April 20, 1964